Yeayh.. tomorrow gonna make me feel like I'M A FOOL! i hate it! but i have to face it... tomorrow is the last day at SMK TUN MAMAT for Along, Akim, Helmi, Arshad, Biha, Illi and Iffah.... they got offer from SBP... the day after tomorrow they're going to register at their new school... it just a lie if i say that i don't feel anything... jealous? of course i do! i feel jealous and that make me think that i'm a fool.. i struggle to get 9A's in my PMR so that i can go to SBP or MRSM.. but that just make me disappointed when i knew that i don't get any offer from SBP and MRSM.. yeayh,, maybe for you boarding school ain't anything but for me boarding school is everything! i want to be independent.. i wanna try to live without my dad,, mom and sisters behind me.. all my sisters go to boarding school in their school time.. but me? it ain't fair me! i get 9A's too.. but what i get? NOTHING!
There is one person who said that maybe my sustenance at SMK TUN MAMAT.. maybe i'll get 11A+ for my SPM here.. but i don't have any confidence.. here,, at SMKTM there is no one of my seniors got straight A+.. that make me worry and start thinking " can i do it? " this kind of question just drive me to crazy! i don't want to think about it but when i read my friend's FB status,, their blog,, that just make me jealous! they got what they want but i don't... sometimes i feel okay but sometimes i don't... sometimes i can accept the fate but sometimes i can't.. seriously,, all this kind of feeling really really make me crazy!
Now what can i do is just pray, pray and pray.. Allah knows what the best and i believe that... He knows what we afford and what we don't.. He is giving us the best.. hopefully He'll answer my prayer and protect me from any danger.. Amin~~
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